YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME }

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

This is definitely a controversial topic- Relationships. Whilst many things has been happening and changing around us, be it negative or positive, i choose to stay neutral (in my opinion too) at least.

Some of you might feel abit sensitive when comes to discuss about your relationships with your loved ones. Relationships can be defined in many ways. Relationships between a mother and son, between friends, peers, colleagues and of course, your partner.

Relationships may bring you to the word- Love. Love <---> Relationships? Love is a very splendid experience when decision are correctly made, comments are correctly given and criteria are fortunately met.

In order to create the best impression to our loved ones, very often we turn to our friends when we are in trouble or when we need someone to talk to. The stage is the world, and we are all both actors and audience. We hide and control negative impressions in the backstage- behind the scenes.

You may then questioned, what do i meant by backstage? I have studied and touched on a topic in a particular module back in my younger days (can't remember the name but is related to the social life) which then discussed about impression management.

Share with you a little... (of what i could remember)

The actors play "roles", i.e. they control the impressions they give off, so as to control how others will relate to them. (In contrast, one does not control the spontaneous impressions that one gives.) Roughly speaking, one may differentiate social life into two categories, that which takes place "on the scene" (frontstage) and that which take place "behind the scenes" (backstage).

Backstage we are simultaneously safer and more vulnerable: It is here we change our mental, physical and moral "underwear". Backstage is thus a space for rest and "letting down one's guard", but also a space where one prepares oneself for frontstage performances.

Frontstage has a more public orientation. Here it is more explicit that we show ourselves to someone as someone, we have our "clothes" on. Front- and backstage are reflexive concepts and have no absolute reference. What is frontstage in one context or from one perspective may be backstage if the context or perspective is changed.

In the long run, "performances" may make us feel exhausted as we are not who we are anymore. What do you think? That is why some of us may decided to just be ourselves- naturally. However, by doing that, we may lose our loved ones - inevitably.

So what should we do? I guess we should know when to give and when to take. Then again, when is the right moment to give and take? Well, i guess experience tells us. Remember we are all actors. Once we are in our roles, playing our part, even if we do not do well initially, given a few more tries and we will react naturally to situations in a smart way once we gain enough experience.

For those we are reading now, hope you enjoyed this post. =) I particularly loved this module last time as i find it so interesting (plus the lecturer is so slim and chio! I like her dressing alot. lol)

Important: Whether or not we can react correctly (in a smart way) in our next role depends on whether you can learn from mistakes in your previous roles and don't ever repeat again.

The month of May is not as smooth sailing as i want it to be. Therefore, this would be my last post for May. Will be back next month, till then take care everyone!

{ 11:06 AM }