YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME }

Friday, November 17, 2006

suppose to be studying.......... eat snake a while..

{ 12:00 AM }

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

One of my favourite shorts

{ 10:35 PM }

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I love to blade blade blade~~ Woolala~ Just returned home. So happy that i have completed a mission which i think is impossible at least for this period of time. I manage to succeed on my 1st attempt. I thought i would fall but i didn't at all. My friend didn't even need to teach me. It comes so naturally that all i need to do is to hold on to something, stand up, slowly let go, try "walking on 4 wheels" and slowly glide glide glide and thats it. Simple. Case closed. hahaha.

I can blade from one end of the void deck to the other now.
BUT.. How i wish i have a pair of skates now for me to blade from my house to my busstop. Hahaha. Next time i can just blade downstairs to buy food. haha.

The conclusion is: You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Overcome the phobia. Do not be afraid to fall. Hahaha i always thought blading is tougher than swimming. Since i can blade, i must make sure i master swimming!!!!!

By the way, my Clarins shaping facial lift and night moisturizing gel has legs! Where are you!!!

{ 10:54 PM }

Its yet another Sunday afternoon and suddenly the word "marriage" comes to my mind. Hahahaha. Another inspiration sets in.

WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

I think it has more to do with mental age rather than chronological age. It depends on how well you know each other so there are no surprises. You should make sure you discuss possible life issues with each other, and the time it takes to come to a mutual decision also plays a part when you take your vows. You should also look into the physical issues that might be present. Like schooling, careers, children, etc. After women hit age 26, the possibility of birth defects in their children will increase. Things like this may affect your decision. I think around age 24 is a solid age. if everything planned out goes right. Done with school- have a good career foundation. It still gives you time to be alone with your husband if you intend to have kids, and allows you the energy you'll need to take care of young children.

My door is closed once again. 2 years ago, i opened once, yet one more time again. I don't wanna open again.

{ 2:55 PM }

Time will heal but not totally. This is reality. How true it is.

Finally finished my exams. In holiday mood, however not totally as well.
People waiting for their death by living their life?

In this short life of ours, we often wonder what is the true meaning of happiness.
Setting up a happy family?
Pursuing dreams or your passion?
Leading the simple life, retiring at a beachhouse or milking cows in some New Zealand farm site?
These images are programmed in our systems to be the perfect life or the perfect ending. We think they are because we picture it in our heads. We sense happiness.

Happiness derives from anticipating and hoping but not the actual result. True happiness is derived from the process, the labouring and then the afterthought. The recall of events. Happiness as such is never about the present. It is always about looking back or looking forward at something which has happened, something which may never happen or something that you think may happen. Happiness therefore never happens in real time.

OMG. What the hell am I talking about.
Why are we contradicting ourselves? Making the best of what we have is the way of living life without feeling regret. Which is happiness? Simplicity or complexity? U decide.
All this while, I tried my best to make someone happy but that is rarely the case.
As I started pondering, I do feel somewhat unappreciated.

I'm tired with underachievement and my slice of laziness in certain areas.

I'm tired with travelling long distances to work everyday entertaining anyone else.
I'm tired of being myself and I'm tired of being someone else.

Finally i am taking up something in 2 weeks' time. I am looking forward to it. I guess this is the start of getting the momentum of doing whatever i like, whatever i forsee may be useful for my future. Or maybe i took up something just because im interested, even though may not be useful. Why not? Just follow my heart. Just do when i feel like it. Please don't ask me reasons why i am doing this and not that. For obvious reasons.

Dancing liberates me.
It makes me forget about fatigue and I forget about the four walls of sadness that surrounds me, always ready to engulf me. But I'm too strong for that, really. My ego is there to feed me and I believe i'm being taken care after. I have grown immune to anger and desperation. I may have become indifferent. I thought i would shout profanities on nasty or grouchy people but I did not.

In life, do not be too calculative. At the end of the day or even during the process, u win some, u lose some. It's how u make use of the remaining of what you have and treasure it.
Some people are so absorbed in pursuing what they want till they don't appreciate nice things and be flexible in their ways. They do not know what's going on at the other side of the spectrum.

Life is actually simple but people around are complicating it. Expectations over expectations. One yet another. Sometimes certain people can be simple, happy go lucky, nothing exceptional, yet their life is happier than the one who is so "on the ball". Getting appreciated is another thing. One who piles pillars of books on top of her, trying to build the word SUCCESS yet don't even know the simplest thing of all. NICENESS. What a failure. Even a primary school kid, they have already learnt the meaning of it. Too engrossed in pursuing her dreams. So selfish it is to me.

Doing this and only thinking of her own wants, neglecting obvious factors. Sadly to say, some selfish people will still adore these people cuz they think they can sit back and relax and be worry free for the rest of their lives. These people are also selfish cuz they give up on people who are nice to them and go for someone who put themselves as their priority by going for what they want so they can sit back and relax. Go ahead for those who wants an "empty" life. Lacking of that "something" even though you can earn alot. A luxurious house. Whatever. Such unconcerned, insensitive people. Cruelty. Rigidity in mindset. Dull.

Maybe these people haven't really been through the nice part of being cared for which makes them really a darling. Perhaps being forced by circumstances. The world is so competitive nowadays that people behave in such a selfless way.

For me, i want someone who will give me moral support. Even making a cup of coffee for me after a day of hard work makes me feel so "warmth and cared for". I will also be more than happy to do that for my someone. Thats why simple life leads to unhappiness.

I am so tired for being nice. Why can't the other party reciprocate, put themselves into my shoes and try switching roles so that i can have the taste of feeling good....

Everyone has their flaws or shortcomings. Am i really that bad? Anyway, i won't force anyone to change their mind. I don't go for material stuffs. If someone accept me because of some external attributes, forget it. I must protect my rights. Perhaps one day i would just go for someone who is rich, who care for me, who won't shout at me, allow me to make decisions and compromise each other.

Someone who is true to you will allow u to speak your mind. They won't lavish on you, buy gifts. flowers etc. Instead they will protect you from harm. It is seldom but not impossible.

Anyway, this is a very subjective topic. We can't change people's mind. Its the hardest to change when they don't see things at a different perspective. Thats what make life interesting.

Just wait and see who shall get the last laugh. At the end of the day, money is not everything.

Age is not always the factor when comes to this issue. I have realized alot of my highly intelligent friends failed badly on these. They are lousy when it comes to this topic and thats why makes me their "mother" to counsel them on r/s issues. Perhaps they concentrate too much on other stuffs.

Pardon me.............. HA HA HA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lot of thoughts running through my head. The quarter-life crisis they say.
Fyi, my brain is the most active at night. loL~

{ 12:54 AM }